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Putin: Zelenskyy Sheltering Child Traffickers

Russian President Vladimir Putin on Saturday made another telephone call to Donald J. Trump. On it, he said Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is sheltering three child trafficking kingpins for whom the Russian Military has issued arrest warrants, according to a Mar-a-Lago source privy to the Trump-Putin conversations.

Putin admitted that ridding Ukraine of “filth and scum” has been an arduous task, and that although his forces had eliminated hundreds of child traffickers and freed tens of thousands of imprisoned children, some vermin had slipped through the cracks—into Zelenskyy’s warm, welcoming arms. Putin called Zelenskyy an “unclean spirit” who had sold his soul to Western criminal governments for boatloads of cash.

According to Putin, Zelenskyy is currently harboring three fugitives, all Ukrainian nationals, who are collectively responsible for kidnapping, imprisoning, and torturing countless children, most of whom had been abducted in the dead of night from their homes along the Russian-Ukrainian border. The FSB, Russia’s Federal Security Service, had pieced together the traffickers’ identities through thousands of interviews with the abductees.

“Putin told President Trump all these kids would’ve been sold into sex slavery. He said he’s determined to get the filthy bastards no matter what it takes. What he said to Trump—he’s going to keep hammering on until Zelenskyy hands them over. Putin also said there’s still trafficking camps around Donetsk he wants to destroy,” our source said.

He added that President Trump is personally responsible for bringing home 100 American children and reuniting them with their families.

“You’re doing a really great thing, and Zelenskyy’s a very bad guy. A lot of people thought he was a good guy, but he’s not. What I’ve seen, what I’ve seen is so bad, because I wish I could help more but right now I have a lot going at home, fixing problems. We do what we must,” Trump reportedly told Putin.

Putin also addressed the sinking of the Moskva. He said it was targeted symbolically because it drew first blood when it shelled and obliterated an Israeli bioweapon lab on Snake Island, a land mass that belonged to Ukraine, located in the Black Sea.

“When Trump asked if there were nukes on the ship, Putin wouldn’t answer, said it was classified,” our source said. “But he also said no Russian nuclear weapons are in Ukrainian hands.”

In closing, Putin wished Trump & family a happy Easter and pined for a future free of strife and war.

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